Placating the volcano

So far, we have heard several stories about our friendly neighbourhood active volcano. Many locals believe that the only way to stop the eruptions is to sacrifice a young virgin, or even a baby, by throwing them into the turbulent crater. Recently, while we were staying at Ankermie, the kitchen girls did not want to return home after dark, as they were genuinely terrified that they would be kidnapped by one of the groups of men and thrown down the crater.

It is hard to tell if this is a genuine risk, but the important thing is that everyone (particularly young virgins) believes it, so it becomes fact. One of the ladies in my office, an educated woman, tells me quite sincerely that seven girls have already been sacrificed this year in order to quell the volcano.

My favourite theory is that a man in Waigete (the village closest to the volcano) was chosen to watch the volcano and alert the populus if an evacuation was required. Apparently this is a traditional and quasi-religious post, (these people may be Catholic according to the authorities, but in reality they are animist). This man (it is alleged) made his own daughter pregnant in January this year (incest and child abuse is, sadly, fairly common in the remote villages). At the moment of conception, Egon erupted to show its anger, and has continued to erupt ever since, despite having been quiet since 1907. The girl is now over nine months pregnant, which is why the eruptions are getting worse, as Egon is increasingly agitated by the violation.

So far, this sounds like a morality tale we could recognise in the UK: the natural order of things disrupted by an unnatural act. Think of the night Macbeth murdered Duncan, with horses going mad, storms ruining the land and birds of prey killed by sparrows, the whole ecosystem inverted by peversity. However, the proposed cure is perhaps less recognisable. When this poor girl gives birth, the plan is to cast the baby into the crater, and the belief is that this will silence the mountain.

To try and prevent this, we are running interference, and telling everyone that the reason for the eruption is quite simple to explain: the bomb fishing has disturbed the tectonic plates and thus pushed Egon into activity. Stop the bomb fishing and Egon will be silent. It may sound like junk science (it is), but it's the best white lie I have told in a long time.

Comments

[Aileen]

Hi Guys

All sounds unimaginable in my disgustingly warm and comfortable hotel room sipping clean water and smoking evil tobacco etc etc.
Beth, please write something, a) because I am dying to hear how you are, and b) because Dominic makes me feel guilty. Plus he uses really long words. (animist??)

Love Ails