Chivalrous Enthusiasm

So the day has finally arrived that we must take our leave of all our friends and close this episode in our lives.  A great sadness descends.

It is hard to imagine life without the rhythms and observances of Maumere, and it is certainly hard to wrench ourselves away from all our friends and the extended family we have enjoyed out here.  All the steep challenges, frustrations and disappointments of the last two years fade to insignificance as only the high points come into sharp focus, and it suddenly becomes hard to envisage an experience that will top this one, and thus the unseen remainder of our mortal coil, still unwound, holds little interest for us.

We both feel more resilient (we have proved ourselves to be so, both physically and mentally, though what the legacy of Malaria, Dengue, Typhoid and numerous parasites will be we are yet to establish) yet at the same time we are more sensitive.  We feel more alive and yet also somehow disconnected from the outside world.  Perhaps the next few weeks will allow us to return to earth gracefully.

The last few months have been demanding (hence the lack of activity on this website) as we have tried desperately to tidy up all our various projects.  As is apparently often the case, we did not really hit our stride until six months ago, and we became really super-effective from about May onwards.  By that time our cultural understanding, language skills and constructive relationships with colleagues all aligned themselves in one indulgent constellation, and everything we touched seemed to yield to our ministrations.  We were, as they say, in the 'flow'.

This all culminated in our farewell ceremonies (acara perpisahan), one on Thursday in the health department, and then a major party at our house on  Friday night.  We did little to organise these events, they just sort of happened around us, and we were amazed that 150 people turned up on Friday to enjoy a prayer service (giving thanks for our presence) followed by food and dancing.  Our neighbour cooked his dog (which was delicious) and twenty chickens also made the ultimate sacrifice.  We danced traditional sequence dances (Poco-poco, Jai'i, rokatenda) until the early hours, while drinking some lethal arak ('tuak') provided by one of the villages.

The following morning we were accompanied to the airport, where more friends waited for hours to eventually wave us onto the (delayed, of course) Merpati flight.  It was a very glum couple that boarded that flight, and the tourists on board must have been confused by the strange white couple (looking bedraggled and frankly less than healthy) that sobbed their way through the flight to Bali.

So here we are in Bali, trying to make sense of the last two years, and so far (as this rambling blog entry testifies) failing to find coherence.  We are excited to be going home and seeing friends and family, many of whom we have not seen for well over two years.  But we are sad to be leaving our Flores family behind, and we are anxious about how we will cope with the reverse culture shock of the UK.  We have been rather cut off from events since April 2004, and the world somehow seems a more dangerous and less forgiving place than it was before.  Maybe it is just that the true state of things is now more apparent to us. 

No doubt it is unfashionable to quote Karl Marx nowadays, but one is tempted to ponder his comment that bourgeois capitalism has 'drowned the most heavenly ecstasies of religious fervour, of chivalrous enthusiasm, of philistine sentimentalism, in the icy waters of egotistical calculation.  It has resolved personal worth into exchange value.'

As we step back through the wardrobe and return to the 'real' world, we wonder what capitalism and materialism have done to the essence of humanity, and this I guess brings us full circle to what this 'Lucretius Plan' was all about: making sense of how what we need is so often eclipsed by what we are led to believe we desire.

Comments

[Maya]

I take my hats off to you two. Congratulation for the completion of a two-year volunteer work that had become more than just a post to do some cultural exchange etc. You have been 'enlightened' as you yourselves put it, and that there are more than just layers of onions to peel or a culture to get accustomed to. Thank you for sharing all in this well-written and well-maintained website/blog. Beautiful photos you have also have inspired me. Your words have moved and inspired me even more, and I do share many of your points of view.

I tried to contact you awhile ago through this comment box, but I guess it hasn't been easy to communicate soley with internet, when the access has been scarce. That's ok. I've been coming back to read your inspiring and interesting posts. I wish one day we can communicate more since I do live in Antibes, France, and I'm an Indonesian. You could also visit my blog if you have more time.

I don't think more positive words can emphasize more on your bravery, committment, focus, big heart and to some degrees altruistic donations you've been giving out to the community of peopole in Maumere. Your presence has changed people/things there, and that's monumental. I'd like to Thank You for everything.

Good luck to you two in continuing life in England. I'd be curious to know what would be your choice in how to do life next. Will you be continuing a blog? I hope so. Would like to learn more about my own country from you two, especially a lost place like Maumere...

Take care,

[Zoe]

Hi, Thankyou for such a well thought out blog. I am due to start a 2 year VSO post in Flores at the end of the year, so it has helped me to read about some of your ups and downs. All the best for readjusting to the ups and downs back in the UK!

[candylover]

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